What Does Respect Mean to You?

What does Respect mean to you? At its Latin roots, the word derives from respicere, which means to look back at, observe, or regard. One could deduce that it means to see something for what it is—as is often the case when looking at something retrospectively. When I feel respected by another there is a sense that

this person is not viewing me from a position of judgment and projection but rather from a place of neutral witnessing, they see me for who I am, not who they want or need me to be.
.
Like many women, I learned at a young age that my role in this world was to unquestioningly inhabit the roles that people asked me to occupy. My sense of worth was based on how selflessly I fulfilled their fantasies, and how devoted I was to playing out their psycho-dramas for them.
.
This path ultimately leads a person to a loss of self-respect, or the ability to see one’s self clearly. I was so busy not being me that I couldn’t remember who I really was. This vacancy of self gave way to a bottomless maw of spiritual maladies. Who was I if I wasn’t who they said I was? If I didn’t want to play this game anymore how would I get the paltry scraps of approval and love I’d learned to live for?
.
At a certain point, I had to stop, take responsibility, disengage, and learn a way to fill my space with more of my own path-illuminating light, and empty my heart of all the stories I’d been carrying for others.
.
Today I get to decide who I am, and I have choice about how I internalize other people’s perceptions of me. I choose self-respect. I choose to shine in lieu of shrinking. I choose to participate in the creation of my reality. I choose to regard others with the respect I’ve given myself, because that’s where it starts—as fate would have it, I’ve never been disrespected by anyone who truly respected themselves. It’s only ever the gift that keeps on giving if it comes from a wellspring of genuine self-love. Today I choose to see, to be, and to shine. Join me if you will. May it all be so!